Harry Unleashed
by ElijahWoodRoxMySox
Summary: Two girls drop out of the ceiling into Potions class and reak havoc on Hogwarts! R/R Plz and I hope you like it!! Chappie 3 is up!
1. And it begins

Authors Rants: Hello everyone! I've FINALLY figured out how to use this friggin thingamagig, so know I am sending one of my favorite parodies that I've ever written into the real world. I hope you all like it as much as I liked writing it!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything of J. K. Rowlings. ( although I wish I owned Hermoine so I could torture her madly and burn all her precious books.. :P)  
  
Harry Parody  
  
Harry, Ron, and Herhorney, the golden prep group, were sitting in potions class trying to cut a weed plant with a butter knife. Prof. Snape loved to torture Mr. Celebrity, Harry Pothead, now that he was out of rehab. (Herhorneys name id actually Hermoine, but I like Herhorney and what the author says goes!!) Anyway, Let's get back to the story.  
  
Suddenly, two girls dropped out of the ceiling and landed right on Ron and Draco Malfloy.  
"AHHHHHH!! Get this ugly thing off of me!" Screamed Ron as he kicked the dark haired girl off him and jumped in Harry's lap.  
"Yah well you ain't so great yourself asshole." Said the dark haired girl brushing herself off. "Where's Steph?"  
"Over here! HELP!" screamed Stephanie, trying to keep Draco off of her. "Let me go you friggin sex deprived Elf lookalike!" She said as she elbowed him in the groin. Draco fell to the floor holding his. area.  
"Take that, Elf boy!" Stephanie said proudly.  
"What form of Dark Arts is this?" Snape stammered as he armed himself with his crap ass wand.  
" HOLY SHIT! He's uglier in real life than in the movie!" screamed Danielle, the dark haired one.  
"Hahahaha! She's right!" Ron laughed as he fell on the floor, with harry directaly on top of him in a very obscene position. (Hint hint)  
"Oh Gross! Guys, this is a very inapropriate area to be situated like that!" said Hermoine, trying to pull Harry off of Ron although Ron was enjoying it a LITTLE too much. :P  
"You two girls! March strait to Dumbledore's office right now! He'll know how to deal with you!" Snape sneered.  
" Uh. We don't know where the fucking office is." Steph said, getting annoyed with this very ugly teacher.  
" Don't get smart with me you underdressed delinquent!" Snape Boomed. "Harry, Ron, Hermoine, escort these delinquents to the office."  
"But Sir, shouldn't a rep from Slytherin go too?" Draco Wined  
" Yes, mabye your right, we don't want the Golden Trio getting out of hand" Snape cooed to his little pet.  
  
A/R: So, what did you think? Some laughs here and there, but more to come! R and R Please!!!! I REALLY want some feedback! 


	2. And it continues

Chapter 2: And it continues.  
  
"Damn! Draco's been up my ass for three days now! What is his problem!?" Stephanie snarled, both her and Danielle have been stuck at Hogwarts with barely any hopes of getting home, and they don't even know how they got there! The teachers wanted to practically dissect then to discover their supposed black magic ways, but both girls had no idea what they were talking about. So there they were, eating lunch with no magic in them whatsoever.  
"Your telling me, that little kid with the camera wont leave me alone. And Hermoine thinks she owns the fucking dorm room. I hear her up there with Snape every night. It's fucking sick!" Danielle said shuttering. Just then Draco came up to them and put his arm around Stephanie's waist.  
"Hullo hun, how about a little romp in flints closet before potions class?" He cooed seductively.  
" Like fuck Draco, you haven't got a snowballs chance in hell" Stephanie hissed, as she tossed her butter beer over his head.  
" Nice one!" Danielle said slapping Steph a high five. Suddenly, Dumbledore came into the cafeteria and transported both of them to his office.  
" Well, we think we have discovered how you both came to our fair school. You were watching the Lord of the Rings dvd and drooling over a certain actor, (Elijah Wood a.k.a.: Frodo for all you nincompoops out there.) and this magical concoction opened a portal to your potions class. "  
"WHAT!!!! You mean to tell me that every time I drool over Lij I get transported to this place? NOO!! That's like asking a skateboarder not to skate!! God Damn you people!!" Stephanie cried, falling to the floor shuttering.  
"You can't say that kind of stuff to her, she might start hemorrhaging!" Danielle warned, picking Steph up off the ground.  
"Oh, so sorry, but we have no way to get you back home until June 30! It's only the 3rd today." Dumbledore stated.  
"Well, why don't they stay here and learn a little magic?" said the cat lady (a. k. a.: Magonagall)  
"Well, why not. Draco! Take the girls over to the magic shop and get them some wands." Dumbledore commanded. The shop was build in honor of Ron and all his stupidity.  
"Hello young ladies, would you both like a wand? I see you don't have any." Said the shopkeeper, handing a wand to Stephanie. " Try this one blondie!" Stephanie took the wand and flicked it. Suddenly a golden ring appeared right in front of her, floating. Stephanie took the ring and disappeared!  
"Hey! Where did she go?" Asked Danielle. Just then, Stephanie popped back in with Elijah Wood, in his hobbit outfit.  
" Holy shit I want this wand!!" Stephanie cried happily, disappearing again, this time taking Elijah with her. Ten minutes later, both reappeared, with Elijah in a bit of a mess (Hint, hint : P) Then he took the ring from Stephanie and disappeared for the final time.  
"This wand/magic thingy is Fucking awesome! How often can I do that LotR thingy with Elijah Wood?" Stephanie asked excitedly.  
"No more! This wand obviously isn't the correct match for you. Try this one" Said the Shopkeeper passing her another wand. Steph took the wand and the wind- light- magic- music thingamagiger like in the first movie happened.  
"Sssssstraaange." said the shopkeeper. That unicorn hair is from the same unicorn as Draco's wand. That's good chemistry!" said the shopkeeper winking. Stephanie shuttered at that comment. Draco blew a kiss to her and then got up and left.  
" Stephie, that's really fucking gross." Said Danielle, shuttering as well. 


	3. Cappie 3

A/R: Hello everyone! Sorry I haven't posted in a long while, but them Jesus CRT things my school has to do this year is NINE hours of testing! I am so tired I can barely type! But, I must go in for the sake of my fans! I hope you like this chapter!  
  
Next was Danielle's turn to try a wand. She flicked it, and out of no where Simara Morgan from The Ring popped in. She looked at Danielle with scaly face and began to speak "Everyone will suf-"  
"Fuck you bitch." Danielle said. With another flick of her wand, Simara was gone.  
" Jesus that thing is ugly!" Said Stephanie shuttering.  
"Ahem! Please give me back my wand you idiot!" said the shopkeeper snatching the wand from Danielle.  
" Alright B'y! Don't get your Jesus nickers in a knot!" Scoffed Danielle.  
" Here! Try this one you little ingrate." The shopkeeper said passing another wand to Danielle she flicked it again and POOF! Shorty from Scary Movie popped in. he was a stoned as a high nigga pie, but still managed to slur the words "Any a y'all fine laydays gots a book?"  
Just then Herhorney came in and saw them all there, and also heard Shorty's request. She came up to him and passed him her finest book.  
"Nice to see that SOMEONE (murderous glare toward Stephanie and Danielle) appreciates the quality of books." Said Herhorney obviously having the hots for Shorty. Suddenly the sound of ripping paper was heard throughout the school. Shorty was sitting on the floor, ripping the pages out of the book and rolling his marijuana!  
"What the hell are you doing! That book costs a fortune!" screamed Herhorney taking the book from him, putting her book in her bag.  
" Yah, and it rolls real well to! He he he!!!" Said Shorty, laughing hysterically. Herhorney had had just about enough so she took out her wand and sent Shorty back herself. 


End file.
